When it comes to weddings, some of us may prefer a simple, intimate gathering. But more often than not, especially in Malaysia, weddings become a community affair, where the parents, in-laws, uncles, aunties, distant, and unheard-of relatives get involved! Lots of blood (maybe), sweat, and tears (definitely) go into planning a wedding.
Last month, a US woman wrote to Slate’s “Dear Prudence” column about an incident in which the best man proposed to his girlfriend and even announced she was pregnant right in the middle of the wedding ceremony!
Whilst that may be an extreme case of what not to do at a wedding, unfortunately, common courtesy isn’t so common after all. So, if you’re wondering what you should or shouldn’t be doing at a wedding, this list is for you.
How to Ruin a Wedding #1: Showing up with a date that was not invited
If you weren’t invited to a wedding or even allotted a plus-one, there’s probably a reason. The couple may want to only invite their family members and close friends, or there is a strict budget they have to keep to. Adding an extra guest means extra cost and the hosts will also have to go through the last minute trouble of readjusting seating arrangements, which the couple have already spent countless hours getting right.
Wedding Ruiner Level: Evacuate your date, pronto!
How to Ruin a Wedding #2: Going trigger happy
Hey Hollywood, get off your phone! No one wants to anyone taking selfies/wefies/whatever-fies non-stop throughout the wedding. Or worse, going right up front as the couple say their vows. Taking a few photos is fine but the couple have spent a lot of time and effort to select their wedding photographer. It’s important not to be a hindrance to the photographer and not get in the way of the shots. Enjoy the wedding, have a few cocktails, and let the pros have at it!
Wedding Ruiner Level: Scary, like the ghost in The Shutter.
How to Ruin a Wedding #3: Speaking up during the ceremony
Believe it or not, we’ve heard some horror stories about a friend who was acting as the Officiant asking the couple “Are you sure?”, after they said “I do”. In another awful incident, there was a groomsman shouting “Don’t do it, man! Run!”. They may have meant it as a joke but not one person found it funny. Remember, there is a time and place for everything. Any reservations about the couple’s relationship should be brought up before the wedding, not during.
Wedding Ruiner Level: The couple won’t speak to you ever again.
How to Ruin a Wedding #4: Sticking your finger into the wedding cake
You would think this is a no-brainer, right? Wrong! People have done it and trust us when we tell you, it’s not appreciated and no one will find it funny or cute. Real wedding cakes cost a lot of money and they are often the pièce de résistance of the wedding dinner. Besides, no one wants to eat anything that’s been fingered (eeewww).
Wedding Ruiner Level: Tapau the cake and go home.
How to Ruin a Wedding #5: Wearing white
This is truly the golden rule for all ladies attending a wedding unless the dress code states otherwise. Do not, we repeat, do not wear white to someone else’s wedding. Most brides look forward to their moment in the spotlight and that is, to be the ONLY one in the white dress.
Wedding Ruiner Level: We need some dressing for this wedding wound.
How to Ruin a Wedding #6: Giving a roast toast
Now, just because you have a microphone in your hand, that doesn’t give you free rein to say whatever you want. Don’t go telling most outrageous college drinking stories or reveal what happened at their Stag or Hen’s Night. It’s also not the time to talk about old boyfriends (or girlfriends) nor is it the time to reveal the groom’s most embarrassing habits. If you’re given the honour to give a Wedding Toast or a speech at a wedding, it’s exactly that – an honour. Keep it PG-rated and use the time to say something that celebrates the couple.
Wedding Ruiner Level: You’re toast!
How to Ruin a Wedding #7: Drinking Too Much
When there’s an open bar at your friend’s wedding, please remember that it’s a special celebration and not a graduation party at a club. Know your limits and don’t go over it. Making a fool of yourself in front of everyone, falling all over the place, or leaving the party early because you can’t handle your drink isn’t the way you want anyone to remember you. Not chic.
Wedding Ruiner Level: You’ll wish that the hangover was amnesia.
How to Ruin a Wedding #8: Spilling on the bride
That gorgeous white wedding dress can cost an arm and a leg, so please, please be careful around the bride. Her wedding gown could also be rented and if so, she needs to return it in pristine condition. If the rented wedding gown gets ruined, she’ll have to pay for it in full. Believe me, you don’t want that hanging over your head! If you have a drink in your hand, put it down and then hug the bride.
Wedding Ruiner Level: The bride won’t be as under-stain-ding as usual…
How to Ruin a Wedding #9: Letting the kids run wild
You know the scene: shrieking kids terrorising the dance floor or the toddler tantrum during the toast. All of it is a big, fat no-no. It totally kills the mood and your kid may end up being the star of the wedding video. If he/she tends to get quite rowdy in public, you may want to consider getting a babysitter.
Wedding Ruiner Level: Run away and never return.
How to Ruin a Wedding #10: Taking over the band
Couples take the time to make their wedding day as perfect as possible. That includes their selection of music and band for their wedding dinner. Telling the band what song to play for you or even handing them a minus one for the sound guy to play for your performance debut isn’t a nice thing to do. You could end up singing a song that was on the couple’s do-not-play list (like a breakup song or an ex’s favourite tune).
Wedding Ruiner Level: You’re “band” for life.
By Ann Lee.
Read also: 6 Tips for your Save-the-Date Announcement