He has asked for your BFF’s hand in marriage, and now she’ll ask you for yours – to fill the coveted role of the maid-of-honour! While this is exciting news and an incredible honour, it also comes with huge responsibilities.
There’ll be blood (maybe), sweat, and tears (definitely), but fret not! We’re here to guide you on how to rock your role and keep all friendships intact with our 10 commandments.
Maid-of-Honour Commandment #1: Be A Friend
Planning a wedding can be stressful for anyone, especially for the couple. They have to juggle between their own wants as well as their families’ while managing budgets and deadlines. So, when the bride needs to talk, be a pal and lend her an ear. She may call upon you more often than usual, so it’s important that you reply her messages, emails, and answer her calls. If it gets a bit too much, be honest with her so expectations can be managed and met. Ignoring or avoiding her will only make things worse – not to mention, rather rude!
Maid-of-Honour Commandment #2: Make Friends
Sometimes, the bridesmaids in a bridal party may not all know each other. If you find yourself in such a situation, make an effort to get to know them! While it isn’t always easy to connect with new people and personalities, it’ll make the entire experience a lot more enjoyable. Plus, with everyone being friends, the hen’s night and bridal shower will be much more fun!
Maid-of-Honour Commandment #3: Honesty is the Best Policy
If the bride asks you for your opinion, you only have one thing to do: be honest. Even if this means telling her that that joke in her vows isn’t really working or that her fairytale wedding is not possible with her budget. She may not heed your advice, but if there’s a time to tell the truth, it is now. You don’t want her to look back with regrets. There’s no point agreeing with her just to please her if you think she’s making a bad decision. Play the devil’s advocate – but a tactful one!
Maid-of-Honour Commandment #4: Ask, Don’t Assume
This may be everyone’s first time planning a wedding, so it’s natural to forget or overlook some details. There are no ‘rules’ because every bride and groom and their families will want things done in a certain way. So, don’t assume that the bride wants a hen’s night and it’s up to you to organise it, or that you don’t have to accompany her for her cake tasting. Go by the saying ‘there is no such thing as a stupid question’ and you’ll be fine!
Maid-of-Honour Commandment #5: Keep Calm and Carry On
Now, there aren’t many situations that are as stressful as planning a wedding. As the wedding date draws closer, everyone will be extremely high-strung and Murphy’s Law states that if something can go wrong, it will go wrong. With so many moving parts (outfits, F&B, music, photography, and the list goes on), it’ll be a miracle indeed if everything can be pulled off without a single hitch! It boils down to you to keep yourself and the bride calm. Be careful with your words – the general rule of thumb is to avoid the B words: “bitch” and “bridezilla”.
Maid-of-Honour Commandment #6: It’s Not Just About the Bride
The bride may be the centre of attention, but that doesn’t mean you can be lax about everything else. This means you’ll have to make time to look into matters that do not really involve the bride or yourself, such as the bridesmaids’ looks. Make it a point to attend the fitting and ensure that the entire party looks good. Plan with the bride on the entire outfit; for example, if watches are allowed, the type and colour of earrings, necklaces, and shoes to wear. It’s time for the bride to shine, but she can’t shine as brightly if she’s surrounded by friends in ill-fitted dresses and uncoordinated outfits!
Maid-of-Honour Commandment #7: Practice Makes Perfect
One of the key words to pull a wedding off successfully is “trial run”. Wherever applicable, do it! While the bride will definitely have hers for her hair and makeup, you should also do it for yourself and the rest of the bridal party, especially if everyone has to go DIY. Don’t assume that everyone knows how to do it themselves – the last thing you need is someone trying out new makeup products and breaking out in a rash. You could also run through the bride’s vows, practice your own toast (if you have one), and if there are any traditional rituals to perform, familiarise yourself with the procedures!
Maid-of-Honour Commandment #8: Keep Your Eyes Peeled
It’s the day of the wedding, but you can’t let your guard down just yet! Theoretically, if everything is well planned, you won’t have much to worry about, but you’ll have to be prepared for unexpected issues. Has she eaten? Does she need help holding the bouquet? Is her makeup smudged? Be on your toes and be on hand to help out with any emergencies.
Maid-of-Honour Commandment #9: Drink Responsibly
No one likes a drunk guest, let alone a drunk bridesmaid! Drunken antics aren’t pretty sights to behold. While it’s time to celebrate, you’re also ‘on the clock’! You may be called upon to assist the bride on several matters so you’ll need to keep your wits about you. By all means, have a cocktail or two but drink responsibly and also keep the bridal party in check!
Maid-of-Honour Commandment #10: Have Fun!
Spend some quality time with the bride doing something else, such as going for a movie or having a night in with some chips, drinks, and games. You and the bride might get too caught up in the process of planning and in that state of mind, you’ll just stress yourselves out even more! When things get too overwhelming, It’s okay to take a step back and go without wedding talk for a day or two.
By Ann Lee.
Read also: Chic Bride: How to Plan a Bridal Shower
Need help planning the bridal shower? Check out our guide here!